Success Redefined - An Interview with Karen Heras-Kelly

Karen Heras-Kelly is a professional global coach, whose been making a wholehearted difference to the lives of 1,000s of women since 2012. She created A Tribe Called Woman in 2015, with the aim of creating a safe and unifying space where women can learn, grow, and share together. She previously spent 20 years launching and reinventing beauty brands around the world.

She describes her work as…

“Empowering women to make a difference to their lives and beyond. It's about women changing their own story, their own narrative, to one that is much more empowering. It’s about knowing how to stand up for themselves, empowering them with the self-belief and tools they need to help them to promote themselves and to take the spotlight. To also tune into their bodies and move from their instincts, knowing when to take a backseat, if that's what they need. Rest, recouping and re-energising is a crucial part of the story of empowerment and elevation.”

When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

The first thing I wanted to be was a nurse, my mum was a nurse, but I'm not good with blood so I knew that wouldn’t work. Then I wanted to be a mum, which I did end up being. For me that nurture part of me was already there, I just didn't know how to communicate that as a child. As I matured and certainly at this stage in my life, I’ve learned the true essence of caring for myself and others.

Do you remember having any ideas about success and what that meant growing up?

Yes. My mum would say to me, “I don't care what you do, as long as you're happy” and that was said a lot. But that was a big thing to think about as a child, what happiness meant. I worked with the idea a lot more as I got older. In its purist form, success is happiness.

I also remember seeing Princess Diana in the news when I was younger, in her convertible car and thinking, she's successful. She's beautiful, she's driving around in this car, she's a princess. I remember thinking, I'm going to get a car like that. My brain was already focusing in on certain things about success – it’s that car, it's that aesthetic. As a child I heard adults’ talking about happiness and freedom, I then created a version of what I believed that looked like.

How has that idea of success changed over the years and what is it now for you?

It's definitely changed. I was that person who thought, I'm going to University and then I'm going to have a good career, I'm going to get that car and travel the world, and have amazing experiences but it was all get, get, get. Now, it's about the feeling. For me it's about the feeling of ultimately knowing that I made a difference to people's lives and the impact of that. Success for me is also about taking care of myself, within my own personal journey, and ultimately knowing that I'm doing the very best for me.

What's been your proudest moment, and did that make you feel successful?

My proudest moment is becoming a mum, 100%. My daughter’s the one thing that brings me into such a place of high level love. I know that when I need to get some energy, or I need to create, I go back to thinking about her first.

Career wise, one of my proudest moments was doing a three day leadership event in Mexico, with Heineken and another co-leader called Chris Jacob. It was work designed around feminine energy, creativity, innovation, relationship building, all the feminine elements of leadership. The participants were mostly men and there was one woman in the group. They were all top executives and amazing human beings. I had the best time with this team for three days in the mountains in Mexico and I made a lifelong friend, a leader called Patricia Corsi who has risen through the ranks in consumer health care. We still work together today, and she has been one of my biggest advocates. I learnt and experienced so much during this time. All the things I’d told myself about the work I did, that it wouldn't appeal to men and that it was a niche market, disappeared. I did the work, watched it unfold and watched the energy shift. I watched relationships grow and saw people connect on a deep level. It was a moment in time when I knew, I was on the right path and realised the impact of the work I do.  

What's been your biggest challenge when it comes to trying to achieve success?

Just getting in my own way, to be honest. Also thinking that I needed to work ridiculously hard. The old conditioning thoughts of “you have to work hard to get to the place you want”, I've left a lot of that behind now. It still comes up now and again and I have to remember that it doesn’t feel good and that's not who I am now, so it's managing that side of me. I think becoming a mum made me change and let go of certain things and get very clear with myself on what I want.

What do you think is the biggest challenge facing women in the workplace, when it comes to success?

I think it's about women taking up their space. Through my work I get to see the power of women doing their own inner work, getting into their personal authority and saying to themselves, “I'm going to take up space today and I'm going to do it in service of myself and others”.

I think so many women suffer in silence. They question if it’s safe for them to talk or if it’s safe for them to show who they really are in the workplace. If they show vulnerability or power, is it going to come back on them in some way. Rates of pay provide a good example of this. This isn't just about money, it's an example of the wider issue we face. The truth is that many women get paid less than men, there's an inequality in the value of women, and women almost accept that that's okay or that's just how it is, without always speaking up. This ends up almost reinforcing it.

I'm really lucky to work with some of the most powerful women and they are changing the way the businesses they work in operate. I see their power, see their strength, and I'm able to empower them behind the scenes. We work on anything that's getting in their way and help them enhance their vision so that they can go out there and do the work from an empowered place.

How do you feel about the phrase having it all? What does that mean to you?

That's a great question. I used to think that it’s not possible to have it all and it has got such a negative association with it. For me personally, I want to work on my own terms, I want to feel healthy, I want to do great work, I want to get paid for it. I want to be a mother, I want to be fully present with my daughter. I want all of this and I don't want to compromise in any of these areas. But I have to be really smart with how I activate this vision and be very, very focused.

I 100% approve of women wanting it all; what's important is that they have a plan or have a version of how they're going to manage, sustain and find their own non-negotiables. I think women have been told they can't have it all because they've had to fit themselves into a system that’s not really designed for women. When women came into the world of the workplace, they had to fit into a male mould and in some ways, they still have to fit into that mould. Business is changing its approach, and that's great, but there's still a lot of mould fitting happening which makes it hard for women. Communication is a two-way street, it’s important to dig keep and keep thinking, being and doing change.

What's your biggest motivator?

I just feel so happy when I see somebody thriving, it can move me to tears. I've been lucky enough to work with celebrities, supermodels, CEOs, entrepreneurs and women across a variety of life stages and cultures. I've worked with a cross section of humanity and seen many shared struggles. I also get to see the true power of women when they create space and time for themselves, when they connect to the power of their feminine wisdom. When women feel safe, supported and guided, magic happens.

Who has helped or influenced you most along your career journey?

I'm lucky that I've been supported by many people. I'm going say Helen House. She's a course leader at CTI, the first coaching school in America. I found out about Helen when I did the CTI (Co-Active Training Institute) leadership programme in 2015 but didn’t work with her until 2020. She has been a huge source of inspiration and wisdom in my life, and she coached me through the most challenging time. She saved my life in some ways. She’s such a strong, powerful woman but also so funny, gentle, and soft.

I also had a boss called Michelle Feeney, who is now the CEO of Floral Street. We worked together at St Tropez and did the most incredible work, changing the perception of St. Tropez from naff tanning to luxe skin finishing.

I think there are these people in life that see something in you, that come into your life at the right time and beautiful things happen. So those are just two of so many.

What's your biggest goal for this year?

I want to grow more this year, in a really consistent way that supports wellbeing. For me that's about managing my time, so I can take care of myself and my daughter too.

If you could give your 15 year old self some advice, what would it be?

I would say to her, the road is not a straight line, there's going to be lots of twists and turns, ups and downs but just keep listening to your instincts, because they're always right. Also don't let anyone take away your voice. At times you may be quiet, and that's okay, but remember your voice is always there. Remember you know how to ROAR.

If you had to share one secret to success what would it be?

I think it’s about believing in yourself and loving yourself. There are going to be times when self-belief is impacted, and you don't believe in yourself and that's normal. Fundamentally your inner compass needs to be set to ‘I love and I believe in myself.’ Especially during the difficult times, they’re the moments when that’s especially true. Keep believing in and loving yourself.

If you’d like to find out more about Karen’s work please visit her website at Karen Heras-Kelly or connect with her on Facebook or LinkedIn.